The Coast Guard
by Mage Firestorm
Summary: As anyone ever wonder why Brinker decided to join the Coast Guard? A oneshot


A Note- I dont own these characters, written for a english class project

Why the Coast Guard?

Brinker sat on the chair by the window, watching the clouds roll by, lost in thought. He had to decide how he was going to serve his country; it was almost spring and soon he would be graduating Devon. _Damn it,_ he thought to himself, _why does this have to be so hard!_ He knew though, deep down, he knew why, it was that night, when his stupid idea killed Finny, when _he_ killed Finny. Before then, he had been ready to sign up with the army and shoot the Nazis where the stood, but after seeing Finny lowered into the earth, he knew he could never kill again

As he was watching the clouds above and the figures below, one caught his eye; Gene. Brinker watched him and could not help but notice the changes in him, since Finny's death. First he withdrew from everything and everyone, in particular Brinker; he grew skinny and pale, but then suddenly, shortly after the funeral, he changed again. He started to act as if nothing had happened, as if the trial was but a weird dream. He started to talk again, even to Brinker; he put weight back on and ventured out into the sun again. First everyone was worried, but then calmed down again, accepting that Gene was done mourning, and ready to go on with life. Brinker was not fooled though by this, he noticed how Gene was quieter then he used to be, more mature, how there were times when he would be caught looking out into space, and how he would never, ever, bring up the past, including Finny. Sometimes Brinker would try and question him on it, but then Gene

would grow angry and he knew to back off. Gene was his friend again and he did not want to push the fragile relationship any further. Brinker shivered at the disastrous conversation at Finny's funeral

 

The day was too warm for winter. It was so pleasant, with the sun shining, the little birds chirping, soft, puffy, clouds gliding across the sky, it made him sick. It felt like nature was mocking him, and his crimes. He was standing at the funeral of a boy whose death he had caused, however accidentally, and the day was perfect.

Finny was dead, he could not believe it. Phineas was dead. The words felt wrong in his mind, it just did not seem possible that somebody like Finny could be dead. He remembered when he learned that Finny was crippled for life; it also seemed wrong, but less wrong. He felt guilty for everything he had done to Finny. He even felt bad that he hated, and still hated, him with a passion.

Brinker had always hated Finny, from the moment he met him. Finny was useless, nothing more than a jock, a fairly dumb jock at that. He was also beyond popular, he had more friends then he knew what to do with. Everywhere he went he had hoards of people following him. Even the teachers respected Finny, even though he was one of the biggest rule breakers in the school, all he had to do was talk and let him get away with murder. Everyone loved Finny. He could hear their voices in his head, "He is so athletic, nice,

friendly, brave, and honest." Brinker could not understand it, what people saw in him, what Gene saw in him.

Before Gene met Finny, Brinker was his best pal. Brinker remembered when Gene first became his roommate, with his silly country drawl, and because pictures of home over his room. At first Brinker dismissed him for a southern hick, until he learned of his quick mind and gift in sports. Brinker quickly brought Gene under his wing and showed him the ropes of Devon. Then one day when Brinker had committees all day Gene decided play football with some of the guys in their dorm, he met Finny.

Before Brinker even realized what happened, Gene switched rooms and moved in with Finny. Brinker was stunned, and hurt. _He_ had made Gene into the boy they knew, _he_ showed him the ropes, _he_ had told him were to go and at what times, _he_ taught him the meanings of the bells, and what did Brinker get? A slap in the face, and a loser as a new roommate. He had to watch as they got closer, watch Gene follow Finny around like some whipped dog, watch Gene get in trouble of Finny's ideas. He knew Gene, he would never cut class, but with Finny, he did.

He was stunned when he learned about what happened over the summer, when it was thought that Gene might of push Finny from that tree, maybe he was not the only the one who hated Finny. Of course, he did not approve of such violence, but that was what happens when one spends time with Finny. It annoyed him only a little that he would have to groom Gene into a gentleman again, once he moved back into their room that is.

So it surprised him when he learned that Gene was going to stay on as Finny's roommate. He tried to push Gene, after that, to see if Gene was truly guilty of the crimes, but he would not budge on the issue. Then when he saw Finny come back and how they interacted, he knew not only were they still friends, they were closer than before. The idea of the trial then popped into his head, solidified as he watched them at the stupid winter carnival. It was when Gene defined Finny, and called him his "best pal" that pushed Brinker into the trial, for before that moment, Gene never called anyone, not even Brinker himself, his best pal.

If only the trial did not work so well, maybe things would have turned out differently. Everything was working well, Gene was visibly shaking, and Finny was pale. It even seemed liked Finny was turning on Gene, when he mentioned that Leper was home and knew what had happened. Then Leper came and ruined everything. At first it seemed like he was going to tell the truth, with out all the perhapses, and maybes, when he turned on Brinker. It was rather shocking learning how much Leper hated him. _It isn't my fault he was always picked on, he was the crazy one, so of course he is going to be picked on._ Then seemingly out of no were Finny cracked under the pressure and fled.

Brinker could still remember the shock of Finny cursing, probably for the first time ever. Then the crash. That sickening crash, it froze his heart. He remembered the look of sheer panic on Gene's face and the roar of Finny's name on his voice. It was the first time he ever heard anything like it, the pain. It still haunted his dreams, the crash, the

face, the roar, like the car accident. He also remembered when he learned that Finny died a few days later.

It did not seem right, it was just a broken leg, well, it was the same leg, but still it just did not seem right. He felt sick to his stomach after he learned about. He also felt guilty. He knew that it was not his fault, he had done the actual killing, but he could not shake the feeling that he _had_, he _had_ caused this. He hated the feeling. And now here he was at the funeral.

After they lowered the casket into the earth, he saw Gene wander away, and stop above another grave, one that seemed very old. After a few minutes Brinker followed.

"Gene…Gene…"said Brinker when he got close to him.

"What do you want?" asked Gene rather coldly.

"Gene…I'm…Well, I'm sorry." Brinker said quietly, when Gene did not move after a few moments, "about the trial, and everything that happened."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," Gene said quietly. He was staring at the name on the stone, John Proctor. "Did you know that he's not really buried here?"

"Who? Finny?" Brinker asked, confused.

"No, John Proctor. He died during the Salem Witch Trials, accused of being a witch. This stone was placed here after it was realized that the girls who charged him lied."

"O.K, but-"

"He was punished for crimes he did not commit."

"Yes, but-"

"He stood up for what he believed in, he could have escaped death but didn't."

"O.K, I see,"

"But those girls weren't the only people who killed him; the townspeople, the judges did too."

"Gene, I understand this is hard for you, but perhaps..." Brinker tried to continue.

"You don't understand."

"Yes I…"

"You will never understand, not until you stop being so focused on you and realize that you alone did not kill him!"

"What do you mean?"

"Leper did it too, as did I, and everyone here in at Devon. We _all _killed him. We tore everything he believed in from him, and then we killed him." He then snapped at Brinker.

"Gene," Brinker began, but Gene cut him off angrily.

"Brinker, grow up_! N_o _one_ person killed him, we all did, we _all_ have blood on our hands. Stop being so self-centered!"

"Gene," Brinker finally yelled, "this is all MY FAULT, and we all know it. So just STOP IT!"

"Fine, it is, if you must insist," he shot back scathingly. "How will you make up for it?"

"I don't know," Brinker said slowly, embarrassed about yelling, "probably just fight and die in battle, probably the army."

"So, more death, is it? That is how you will make up your crimes, with _more_ killings?" Gene sneered at him, "I thought you were smarter than that Brinker, but if that will ease you guilt go ahead, _die_."

With that, Gene walked away, leaving a shocked Brinker staring after him.

 

Brinker still thought about what Gene said that day. He understood it better now, with time to think about it but still, it was confusing. _I understand that killing isn't the right way to atone for my sins, but how else can I do it, and still serve my country_? Brinker walked over to the numerous lists he had of military branches. There were plenty of choices, just none that did not involve killing, the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, the Coast Guard…_ Wait one second_, he thought as he looked back at the Coast Guard. A way to protect his country without killing; could this be what Gene meant?

Brinker smiled to himself. _I wonder how dad will react when he hears I decided to join the Coast Guard_?


End file.
